THis article was first published in Trax magazine by Multitrax UK
Pam Rigden BSc (Hons) Sports Sciences, MA, YMCA Personal Trainer, NLP Master Practitioner, Coach and Trainer writes about how cutting edge Fitness Professionals are achieving their results.
More often than not the clients who ‘fail’ to meet their fitness goals ‘fail’ because they are motivated by wanting to move Away From, or avoid some state, rather than move Toward their goal. Being motivated by wanting to move Away From is seldom successful as it keeps the clients focus on the unwanted state rather than the goal - and, as you get what you focus on, the tendency therefore is for the client to simply get more of what they want to move Away From, that is what they don’t want.
For example, if the client is motivated by having had enough of being a Size 18 and being tired all the time their focus will be on being a size18 and being tired. Consequently there will be no change at a neurological level, and while exercising will have an effect, it will not be as powerful or as long lasting as it might be, were their thought patterns supporting their actions. What this means is that while in the short term being motivated by wanting to move Away From some state will get clients off the sofa and to the gym, they are unlikely to see their membership out or be successful.
NLP has a whole host of techniques which can help us help our clients shift their focus and adopt a moving Towards mind set. Indeed setting positive goals or outcomes, as they are referred to in NLP, is the principle which underpins all NLP work. Focussing on a positive outcome is essential because, to re-iterate, you get what you concentrate on. The aim is to let the unconscious mind know what it is aiming for - simply thinking about what you want, the state you are moving Towards , triggers neurological changes which begin and facilitate the change process . This is similar to a person walking through a field and always taking a particular route. After a number of times through the field, a path will begin to form. As the path forms, the person’s pace will become faster since one knows where to go and consequently the grass is worn down under one’s steps, eventually becoming a well troden dirt track. In the same manner, by focussing on what you want, a neuron path for the desired state and its associated behaviours, being a size12 and having an abundance of energy, will begin to form. After a period of time, the thinking and new behaviours that support that state will become second nature because the neuron connections that make up that state have been conditioned to set up that particular route.
But wouldn’t it be useful to know what motivates the client sitting in front of you – for example, if you knew they were motivated by moving Away From you would know in advance that this is someone who will need more support when it comes to setting a positive outcome frame and shifting their thinking toward that outcome. So, how can you tell? Some clients who are very much Away From might literally not be able to tell you what they want, only what they don’t want - and that would be a clue. Listening carefully to what your clients tell you might also give them away; for example, are they fed up with eating junk food, watching television and not being able to get into their old clothes (Away From), or have they been inspired by watching the London Marathon and want to enter next years event (Towards)? Asking specific coaching questions has proved effective:
Can you tell me why exactly you are here?
Why are you really here?
What do you want in terms of your health and fitness?
Why do you want this change?
Asking questions will help you gather information, but it is not always clear cut – the surest way to find out what motivates your client is to elicit their values with regard to their health and fitness. Values Elicitation is a powerful tool and requires skill and practise in order to elegantly establish what really matters to your client. The technique is formally taught at NLP Practitioner level, and while you can gain a considerable amount of knowledge through reading text books and articles, there is no substitute for taking an experiential training where you will see the technique demonstrated and have the opportunity to practise while supervised by qualified NLP trainers. It is also important to have an understanding of what a value is and how they develop.
As defined by Joseph O’Connor (1), values are basically why we do what we do – they are what is important to us, they are the principles which direct our lives, acting as both the permissions and prohibitions on how we act or don’t act, as the case may be. We find out what a client values then by simply asking What is important to you about your health and fitness? and the client will obligingly produce a list of 6-8 values, such as losing weight and energy.
The next step is to number the values in order of importance by asking If you could only have one of these values which would it be ?. Then you ascertain which is the next most important in the same way until you have in front of you the client’s Values Hierarchy. Then, in order to establish whether their motivation is Away From or Towards, you take each value in turn starting with the first and ask why is ( value) important ? and then ask And why is (response) important? – you then keep asking until they say “because it is” and record their answers.
Once you have this information in front of you can ask the client to score their Away From and Toward responses for each value out of 100% eg. 50/50. For example if a client says losing weight is important, (although not positively stated) their motivation could in fact be Towards – they might already have an image of what they will look like as a size 12 and a sense of what their life will be like when they have achieved their goal. Conversely a client might be 100% Away From, being disgusted with and totally focussed on their present state, being fed up with being a size 18, with little, if any, sense of how life will be different for them. Similarly if a client states that energy is important to them it won’t be until you ask them why that you really get where they are coming from – they might be fed up with being tired all the time, and be very much stuck in that state and focussing on all the disadvantages that go with it. Alternatively they might be thinking about how great it will be to wake up in the morning looking forward to the day. In reality clients are likely to have aspects of both Away From and Towards and the purpose of asking them to grade their scores is such that you have a benchmark against which to measure improvement.
In terms of helping a client make a shift from being Away From to Towards, again there are many NLP techniques which can help you achieve this – in the first instance you can use any Well Formed Outcome model to help your client set a positive outcome and by so doing they will begin to think differently.
You need to persuade them that they do not have to live as they are now – they can change their negative thought patterns and behaviours by focussing on what they want . Any of the NLP techniques which focus on helping the client create a compelling future will reinforce this; however, if a client has a collection of strong Away From motivations more therapeutic work such as an NLP Breakthrough Session may be required. Recognising that Away From values are created during significant emotional events, often in early childhood, a Master Practitioner would use techniques such as Parts Integration, Alignment Therapy (2) in the first instance to resolve the incongruities that exist for the client, and Memory Resolution (3) to release negative emotions and limiting beliefs from the past. This will relieve the need to avoid things in the future and the Away From values and motivation will disappear and be replaced with Towards values. This in turn makes it possible for the client to achieve their fitness goals with ease as the motivation for wanting to do so is now balanced and healthy and creates change at a neurological level.
Helping your clients achieve Towards motivation is absolutely vital therefore, not least because this enables their ultimate success, but because, in fact, encouraging a client to subscribe to exercise whilst their motivation is Away From only has the result of fuelling the negativity which by definition cannot be comfortable for the client – and why would we want to do that? In this respect the best thing that can happen is that the client gives up, because the alternative is that they might become an obsessive compulsive over exerciser which potentially is far more damaging, at least psychologically, than being a yo-yo exerciser.
NLP Breakthrough – Case Study IN BOX
Female
33 Years
Presenting Problem; extreme insecurity, obsessive about looks
Background; physical abuse during childhood, anorexia/bulimia
Pre session Values Elicitation around Health and Fitness – sample IN BOX
1) Aesthetics
important in order to be sexually attractive
important because nothing else matters
important because attracts men
important because otherwise believes she is ugly and will be alone
Wants to avoid/ move Away From feeling ugly and loneliness
2) Recognition
important because it confirms existence
Client had been so de-valued while growing up that she had little or no internal sense of self-worth and was entirely dependent on external recognition to validate her existence.
Wants to avoid/move Away From feelings of worthlessness
3) Being Smaller
important because it helps maintain identity of being ‘daddy’s little girl’
important because otherwise endured what was perceived to be life threatening physical violence
Wants to avoid/ move Away From physical violence and consequently develops eating disorder age 6.
It is not difficult to see that the client’s motivation and values around her health and fitness are 100% Away Froms, and given the circumstances of her life this is entirely understandable. Following the session ( 2 Days) which resolved, amongst other issues, the internal conflict between wanting to be sexually attractive and needing to stay smaller. Essentally this client now feels able to ‘grow up’. The re-elicitation of her values after the session revealed an enormous shift in thinking which she is now acting on in her day to day life.
Post Session Values Elicitation IN BOX
1) Being Healthy
Important to achieve all that I am capable of and lead a full and rewarding life
2) Being Fit
Important so that I can live until I am 90 and enjoy life
3) Being able to sprint
Important so that I can experience the joy of movement and so that I can move quickly toward (!) my goals
4) Energy
Important so that I can get the most out of everyday
5) Helping others
Important so that others can be helped by what I have learned from my experiences
References
1)Joseph O’Connor NLP Workbook The Practical Guidebook to Achieving the Results You Want Thorsons 2001
2)Alignment Therapy; technique accredited to John Overdurf and Julie Silverthorn
3)Memory Resolution; technique accredited to Susie Srang Wood and Craig Wood
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Contributor's Note
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